Copywriting Makeover: Value vs. Vision

by Karen Thackson

Part I

There's no doubt. Wholesalers USA knows their customers. They've spent the time digging through log files to analyze site stats. They've spoken with customers on the phone and emailed with them. They've used client feedback to develop new products that have taken off like a rocket. Wholesalers USA understands the importance of giving the customer what s/he wants. What they needed some help with was translating that message into natural-sounding SEO copy that would deliver qualified traffic.

The Problems

According to Wholesalers USA, they've been working for years to get organic listings for two extremely important keyphrases. Unfortunately, they've had little success, their highest achievement being about page five of the Google search engine results pages (SERPs). This left them with a hefty monthly pay-per-click (PPC) spend of $4,000 on average to get the traffic they needed.

Still, the most important factor to them was not reducing that painful PPC outlay, but creating SEO copy that puts the customer first. They refused to have copy on their site that sounded choppy or forced -- and I applauded them for that! At the same time, I also assured them that SEO copy could be written to meet all their goals.

Because of their extensive work to get to know their target audience, Wholesalers USA was able to tell me that 50% of their customers were heavy-duty crafters. These creative types might be purchasing mosaic glass tiles, gems, stones and other items for their crafting business or just for personal use. Regardless, we knew we were dealing with people who were focused intently on creating beauty.

The existing copy had one sole message of value. You can see the original at <http://www.copywritingcourse.com/wholesalersusa-home-original.pdf>. Wholesalers USA wanted visitors to know they offer true wholesale prices and -- unlike other companies -- had no hidden charges or minimums. Because feedback told them new visitors sometimes questioned the quality of their
products (due specifically to prices that were far below their competitors'), Wholesalers USA also touched on why they could sell so low.

But the two things the copy didn't take into consideration were the search engines and the creative nature of their visitors. To get high rankings for a page using particular search terms, the page has to reflect original
content that is keen to the topic. To mesh with the site visitors, the copy also needs to use words like "gorgeous," "beauty," "elegant," "whimsical," "professional" and others.

The Solutions

This fix was relatively easy. I wanted to develop trust and set Wholesalers USA apart from others, so a conspicuous mention of participation in a popular TV show was included in the content. I also needed to alter the message slightly to incorporate a feeling of belonging for creative crafters. To do this, select words were used to connect with the visitors.

Because there was scant little copy on the home page, I wanted to expand the content just a bit. Adding brief descriptions for each product graphic shown was a logical choice that would be of value to customers and the engines.

All the while, the two search terms Wholesalers USA needed to rank highly for (along with other secondary terms) were incorporated into the copy to aid with rankings. The client added a new title tag to further optimize the page and continued their efforts in the way of directory submissions.

In Part Two of this series, we'll walk through every step of the rewrite in detail and also review the results, with direct feedback from Wholesalers USA.

Part II

The Rewrite

Since Wholesalers USA had extensive information about its customers, assessing the target audience was a quick process. We were able to move quickly to step two: the selection of keyphrases. Again, Wholesalers USA had done their homework.

Checking a variety of sources, they developed a selection of keyphrases they thought would work well for their home page. In addition, they reviewed their on-site searches for additional terms users frequently queried.

As I began to write, I kept these terms in mind and created ways to use them so they would flow naturally within the text. I also made a point to incorporate the "creative terms" mentioned in Part 1 and improve the feeling of trust for the visitor.

Keeping quality as a primary focus, I rephrased and repositioned the headline previously located in the center of the top banner area. Rather than:

"Bringing You Quality at Wholesale Prices - Always the Most Value for Your Money"

We used:

"Always the Highest Quality at the Lowest Prices"

This was inserted as a bold headline before the opening paragraph. The reworked headline flowed better and gave a more direct message. The following replaced the headline in the center banner area:

"Gorgeous Glass Mosaic Tiles and Glass Gems Direct from the Wholesaler"

Keyphrases found here helped contribute to the overall optimization of the page.

The copy began with a play on an old saying. It delivered a brief explanation of why the company's tiles and gems were so inexpensive and how quality was retained, then worked its way to a mention of a popular
television show to boost trust and credibility. Although they had the privilege of providing tiles, stones and more for an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Wholesalers USA mentioned this only on internal
pages. Adding this to the home page copy (and providing a link for the details) allowed visitors to immediately see how different Wholesalers USA was from other companies.

To extend the copy and provide additional opportunities to entice visitors, very brief descriptions of each category represented on the home page were written. This also allowed the search engines to better assess the subject and relevance of the page. (Currently the descriptions are listed at the
bottom of the home page until the programmer is able to move them underneath each graphic.) You can see the current home page copy at
<http://www.copywritingcourse.com/wholesalersusa-home-current.pdf>.

The Results

Mark from Wholesalers USA explains the results best. "Before the rewrite we didn't have any organic traffic for the supplemental keywords. The only traffic we had with these words were with PPC advertising. For our two main key phrases. I believe we were around page 5 on Google as of the update this past January. Previously we were found around page 35 for one phrase and the other could not be found at all.

"The biggest impact we have noticed is the dramatic increase in organic traffic (about a 50% increase) and in the number of conversions we are receiving from the organic phrases targeted in the makeover. A quick look. this afternoon shows where the phrases ranked in the search engines: [typically from #1 to #10].

"The rewrite has had a better effect than we expected. Almost immediately (within a few days) we started seeing traffic based on the new keywords and since then we see many of these key phrases continuing to move up in rankings.

"Although there are still many visitors who don't purchase on their first visit, we do see that most of our visitors are adding us to their favorites. This typically results in a sale at a later time as our log files show a
relatively high conversion rate for these visitors (direct traffic)."

Good deal, Mark! That's what it's all about!

Karon Thackston

Marketing Words, Inc.
www.marketingwords.com

Copywriting Course
www.copywritingcourse.com

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